


belong

by sunsetveins



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood is a Good Dad, Angst, But also, Good Sibling Isabelle Lightwood, Happy Ending, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Immortal Husbands, Immortality, Isabelle/Maia is mentioned once, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis Needs a Hug, Supportive Siblings, Time Travel, and max will totally give him one, because that's the only true alec lightwood, but i tagged him because he's such a large topic of conversation, he loves his son so much, idk how to tag this im gonna stop now, just a bit, magnus is also a great father, so raphael never actually appears in this, you'll understand when you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 02:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetveins/pseuds/sunsetveins
Summary: He’d only been trying to portal home. He’s done it a million times before and he doesn’t know where he went wrong this time. He had ended up in the loft, but he knew something was horribly wrong from the very first second. Nothing looked the same, nothing felt familiar. The very air he breathed caused his whole body to itch, every instinct he had screaming at him that everything was wrong. It had only been when Magnus had found him that it had been confirmed. While his Papa was exactly the same as he had been the last time Max had seen him, it was so very clear to Max that he was not the same man. A hesitant“Papa?”had only cemented it.He wasn’t home at all. He was as far from home as he could get.He was in the past.or the one where max is a long way from home, spills some potentially future ruining details, and is terrified of losing his brother





	belong

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't tag this as being from the books because I don't picture it as being from the books, even though Max and Rafe exist here. I have read the books, sometimes I pull from them, but I write with the show in mind. I like the show more than the books. Thought I would put that out there, because someone told me not to tag my fics with Max and Rafe in them as being from the show. 
> 
> Now that I've cleared that up ....
> 
> Happy reading :)

Max really wishes that Rafael was with him right now, and that is not just because he misses his brother more than he ever thought was truly possible while he still had him. No, he wishes Rafael was here because Max just can’t quite seem to keep his mouth shut in front of this bizarre version of his family who probably shouldn’t know that one day Jace and Clary are going to be married with two kids. If Rafe was here, he’d be taking the lead. He’d know exactly what to do, what to say and not to say. If Rafe were with him, this probably wouldn’t even be happening. He’d be in his proper time, because Rafael never let anything bad happen to Max and time travel is definitely something his brother would classify as bad. He’d have stopped this before it could ever happen. Max would still be home.

Max really wishes he was home. If he was, they wouldn’t all be staring at him like they’ve never seen anything quite like him before. He’d belong.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” Jace states loudly, clearly uncomfortable. He avoids Clary’s gaze and shifts like he’s trying to be as physically far from her as possible when he’s sitting right beside of her. 

“I really didn’t mean to say that. I’m so sorry.” Max bows his head, twisting his fingers in his lap. Nearly his whole family is sitting across from him and he’s honestly never felt as wrong being around them as he does right now. 

He’d only been trying to portal home. He’s done it a million times before and he doesn’t know where he went wrong this time. He had ended up in the loft, but he knew something was horribly wrong from the very first second. Nothing looked the same, nothing felt familiar. The very air he breathed caused his whole body to itch, every instinct he had screaming at him that everything was wrong. It had only been when Magnus had found him that it had been confirmed. While his Papa was exactly the same as he had been the last time Max had seen him, it was so very clear to Max that he was not the same man. A hesitant _“Papa?”_ had only cemented it. 

He wasn’t home at all. He was as far from home as he could get. 

He was in the past. 

And so Magnus had called everyone he could think of, which brought almost all of Max’s family to him. Or, at least, the members that Max actually liked. He tolerated his grandparents, like it seemed that they tolerated him, but he didn’t count them among the missing in the room. No, the only two people Max would count as missing are his Aunt Maia and his Uncle Raphael.

It kind of disappointed him that his uncle wasn’t there, but the man Raphael was before Max was born and the man he became after were always painted as very different people, so perhaps it’s best this way. He wishes he was here anyway. Maybe then Max wouldn’t feel so out of place.

A hand on his knee brought him out of his thoughts, and he lifted his head to meet his papa’s eyes. 

“It’s alright, little one. This must be a rather strange experience for you, huh?” Magnus smiles softly, kneeling in front of where Max is sat. Max instantly relaxes. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Simon without Raphael being somewhere close behind, so it is pretty strange,” Max jokes, attempting to ease the tension. He knows he’s made another mistake when he sees Simon tense, his eyes wide and mouth dropped open. He instantly recalls Simon once telling him that he and Raphael hadn’t always been on the best of terms, and that it was one of the worst times of his life. 

Max kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole, but then he remembers Edom being spoken about in whispers and how haunted his dad had looked every single time it was brought up. He remembers the little details he’d been able to catch, the horror filled _“the floor just caved”_ and _“it took him before he even had a chance to try.”_ He wonders if they’ve been through that yet. He wonders if it’s another topic he needs to avoid at all costs, like the fate of his namesake. It makes him sick to think about.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Max says. He’s got a feeling he’ll be repeating this several times, and it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He should be better at this. He’s almost sixteen years old. He’s supposed to be able to handle tough situations.

Except, this is probably the one thing his parents had never prepared him for.

“It’s quite alright, dearest. We understand,” Magnus says, still smiling. Max isn’t sure why he’s acting like he isn’t ruining everything.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Max admits, and he’s starting to panic. “What if I ruin everything? What if I’ve already ruined everything? What if I never make it home because I have no home, because I erased my entire future?” His breathing is uneven and the whole room is spinning just a little. Max thinks Magnus’ hands are gripping his shoulders and he thinks he hears Magnus’ voice, but everything is muffled and he can’t think straight. All he knows is that he’s probably just ruined his entire life and now he can’t breathe.

He gasps for air for what feels like hours and black spots dance in front of his eyes. He just barely makes out the sound of his dad’s frantic voice calling his name. It sounds so distant, almost as if Max is submerged underwater.

“Max,” his dad begs, the sound not quite clear. “Max, please. It’s okay. You’re okay. Breathe for me, please.”

And Max would, is the thing. Max would do just about anything for his dad, but he _can’t_ breathe. Nothing is okay. He’s probably just ruined his entire life, ruined his dad’s future, and now he’ll never make it back home. Max will never be okay again. 

The pressure on his arms leaves and Max’s whole world tilts.

“I have to put him under, Alexander,” Max hears his papa say. The sound of his dad’s protests quiet. Soon after, the world goes completely black.

 

-

 

Alec’s whole body slumps against Magnus when Max is laid across their couch, finally at peace. He isn’t quite sure how to explain the feeling of pure, unadulterated terror that had overtaken him at the sight of this young warlock - _his son_ \- gasping for breath. 

He doesn’t know this boy. They’d only been introduced two hours ago when Magnus had called him, nearly frantic, rambling about time travel and _“we’re parents, Alexander! It’s a boy!”_ Alec had been convinced that Magnus must’ve been drunk, until he got home and found the boy on their couch with his head in his hands, shoulders shaking as he sobbed. It had been Magnus pulling him aside and explaining that the boy’s name was Max and he was their son that had convinced Alec of the seriousness of the situation.

Looking at him now, so still and peaceful on their couch, Alec thinks he’s a little more than convinced. He understands now.

They have a son. _This is their son._

“It’s going to be okay, Alexander,” Magnus says, threading his fingers through Alec’s hair. “We’re going to get him home and everything is going to be fine.”

“Are you trying to convince yourself or me?” Alec asks, half teasing. He’s so tired that he could probably fall asleep right there in the floor with Magnus, so long as he keeps running his fingers through his hair like he is, but he can’t tear his eyes away from Max. He can’t stop watching the boy’s chest rise and fall steadily. He can’t believe this is _his son._

“It’s a little crazy, isn’t it?” Magnus presses a kiss to Alec’s head. “Loving him when he isn’t even ours yet?”

Alec nods. “I think it’s the fact that there’s a _yet_ in that sentence.”

“You two are nauseating,” Jace complains, pushing himself off the wall he’d been leaning against. Alec rolls his eyes and sits up straight.

“We just witnessed our son having a panic attack two hours after finding out we even have a son. I think we have an excuse this time, Jace,” Alec says as he stands and offers his hand to Magnus, pulling him up from the floor.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jace waves his hand dismissively, “it’s not like it’s actually a surprise that you two have a kid. Me and Clary as parents? That’s something to worry about.”

Jace breaks out into a grin, and if Alec were anyone else he wouldn’t have a problem believing that Jace is in a joking mood. Unfortunately, Alec is the literal other half of Jace’s soul. He can feel Jace’s panic, the panic that nearly matches his own. Max has flipped their entire lives upside down.

“You’ll be a great father, Jace,” Alec says softly, moving to lay his hand on his parabatai’s shoulder. 

Jace shakes his head, gaze shifting from the boy on the couch to Alec’s warm eyes. “You already are a great father, Alec.”

It’s an obvious deflection, and Alec knows that Jace has to be aware that he knows it. Jace gives him a look, and Alec yields. 

“Thank you,” Alec replies quietly, ducking his head. Jace nods and walks towards the kitchen where Clary is talking to Isabelle in a hushed tone. Alec is glad they’re all here, even Simon, because he doesn’t know that he could handle this without them.

He glances back toward his son, who is still sleeping soundly. His nerves melt away at the sight of Magnus sitting by his side, talking quietly with Simon as he rubs circles into Max’s hand. 

Okay, so he could probably handle this as long as he had Magnus with him. Alec thinks he could probably handle anything with Magnus by his side.

Especially their son.

 

-

 

Max doesn’t feel any better when he wakes up. That’s the first thing he notices, unless you count the unpleasant hum of magic that seems familiar, yet out of time. The second thing he notices is his dad sitting in the floor in front of where they had evidently placed him on the couch. If it had been anyone else, Max may have startled.

This version of his father is only slightly younger than the one Max is familiar with. It’s not that he looks physically younger, because he knows that’s impossible, but the differences are clear to him. This is a version of his dad that seems less haunted, as if he has yet to see all the horrors that await him. Perhaps this is still pre-Edom. Or perhaps this Alec Lightwood still doubts that Magnus will love him for eternity. Max decides to ask about the latter. If he hadn’t just woken up from a magic induced sleep, he probably would’ve thought better of it.

Probably.

“Are you still in denial that he wanted your immortality just as much as you did?” Max asks, rolling to properly face Alec. He doesn’t notice the color draining from Alec’s face, or the way that everyone in the room seemed to freeze.

 _“Immortality?”_ Alec chokes out. 

Magnus drops the cup of water he’d been holding, and the crash catches Max’s attention. He sees the glowing cat eyes of his papa, and suddenly he realizes that he’s messed up. He’s messed up horribly.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Max says hurriedly as he sits up and runs a hand over his face. “ _Fuck,_ I shouldn’t have said that.”

“How did -” Alec shakes his head and blinks rapidly. Max’s heart drops when he sees that his dad’s eyes are filled with tears. “How did I become immortal? When?”

Max looks to Magnus. Magnus nods.

“Sit up here with me?” Max asks Alec, noticing that everyone had began to find a place to sit and listen. It seemed that there was no way around this. 

Well, if he’s already ruined his life, he might as well tell them anything they want to know. 

When Alec is sat beside of him, Magnus claiming the other side of Alec, Max begins. 

“Papa told me that you became immortal before I was born,” he says, twisting his hands together in his lap. “He said that you worked with Aunt Cat for a year to find a way, and that you gave him the spell for his birthday. He’d been really sad ever since Uncle Simon had finally realized what being a vampire meant for him long term, and you were going to wait for Valentine’s Day, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him keep being so down. So you gave him what he always wanted. You gave him someone that would never leave him.”

“How old are you now?” Magnus asks. He’s crying, and it makes Max want to disappear.

“I’m fifteen,” Max responds, “and my brother, Rafael, is eighteen.”

 _“You have a brother?” “Rafael?”_ Alec and Magnus both ask at the same time.

“Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane,” Max answers proudly. “Named after my Uncle Raphael, but Rafe’s name is spelled with an F.”

It’s silent, everyone seeming to hold their breath.

“What happened to Raphael?” Simon finally whispers. Max’s eyes widen in horror.

“Nothing!” he shouts, “Lilith’s name, holy fuck. Nothing happened to Uncle Raphael. He’s fine! More than fine, really. You tell me all the time that he’s a different person compared to who he used to be, so he’s great. Perfect, really. I am so sorry.”

They all let out a collective sigh of relief. It’s a little heartwarming, if Max was being honest, considering this seems to be the time when Simon and Raphael were not on the best of terms. It gives Max an idea, and he knows he probably shouldn’t do it, but he’s already come this far.

“He misses you,” he says, looking directly at Simon. “He doesn’t hate you. None of them really do. He misses you, and he loves you, too. He wants you to come home. You just have to give him some time.”

“I don’t -” Simon begins to protest, cutting him off. “He doesn’t -”

Max grins, looking around the room at his not quite family. “Your name, when I come from, is Simon Lewis-Santiago. You hyphenated because you still love your family, but you have a new one now. Dad pretends that he doesn’t like you, but he spent weeks searching for you when you went missing. He barely slept and he hardly ate. He was almost more relieved than Raphael when you were found. Papa never calls you by your actual name, but he’s the first person to remind everyone else that it’s Simon when they call you _Daylighter_ and it starts making you uncomfortable. Rafe adores you because you’re the only one that gets his Star Wars references. You taught him to play the guitar. Uncle Jace tries to hate you, but you make Aunt Clary smile and he just can’t bring himself to actually dislike you. Aunt Izzy and Aunt Maia got together because of you, and they never stop teasing you.”

“And Uncle Raphael?” Max says, shaking his head. “He loves you so much that it’s honestly sickening sometimes. Don’t doubt him and don’t doubt yourself. You once told me that you used to feel like you didn’t have a home, that you didn’t belong with your own kind. You also told me that you were wrong, that you always had a home and you always belonged. You just weren’t connecting the right pieces. I’m telling you right now, Uncle Simon, that those pieces are right here. This is your family, _your kind,_ and your home is waiting for you. He just has to realize that he is.”

Simon stares at him, and Max can almost see every thought that passes through his mind. Maybe he shouldn’t have said any of that, but he can’t bring himself to regret it. Not when he remembers the horror on Simon’s face at the thought of Raphael being dead. Not when he could help Simon belong in a place where Max doesn’t.

“Thank you,” Simon mumbles, lowering his gaze. Max smiles.

“Well,” Magnus exclaims as he stands abruptly, “I do believe we’ve all had enough excitement. A lot of potentially future ruining things have been said. I believe it’s time that we discuss a current problem. How are we going to get Max home?”

 

-

 

The answer is frustratingly simple. 

They searched records for hours, made thousands of calls, cashed in a couple of favors, and the answer is simply that Max has to use a slightly different method to portal home. He’d been distracted when he’d last tried it, and that’s how he ended up in the past.

He’d be grateful for the solution if it hadn’t been given to him by his papa. 

As in, Magnus Lightwood-Bane, _his papa._

He’d just been sitting there reading through a book when his phone had rung. He answered it on instinct alone and nearly shattered it when he dropped it at the sound of his papa’s voice. 

After explaining the situation, his papa had been able to figure out a way for him to get home in a matter of minutes. Max was almost furious at how simple it all was.

Now he’s here, sitting on the couch as he waits for Alec to return from the Institute. He’d gone there with Clary to see if he could find anything to help. Max refused to leave without being able to say goodbye.

“You ready to go home, kid?” Jace asks him as he drops down beside of him. Max shrugs.

“I guess? I mean, I am, but it’s kind of weird. I am home, but it isn’t mine yet.”

Jace nods, slinging an arm around Max’s shoulder. “You’re alright, kid. Being your uncle is going to be fun.”

“Thanks, Uncle Jace,” Max says softly. He shifts a bit and then adds, “You’re a good uncle, you know? A good dad, too. You’re going to be fine.”

Some of the tension leaves Jace in that moment, and Max is glad he could give him some kind of peace. 

“Alright, Herondale. You’ve had your time. Move it,” Isabelle insists, grinning as she takes Jace’s place beside of Max. 

“How you doing, nephew? Ready to get home to our much better future selves?” she asks casually. Her eyes are bright and happy, the smile on her face teasing. Max can’t help but grin.

“I’m fine. Ready to see my brother, actually,” he replies. As he says it, he realizes how true it is. He was already painfully aware of his brother’s mortality, but he had never thought of it as a current problem. He had years before he had to worry about losing his brother. But now, after being in a place where he had thought he had no way of contacting his brother and being nearly convinced that he’d never see him again, he’s eager to spend time with him. He’s not sure he’ll be able to let him out of his sight for awhile.

Isabelle’s features soften. “I’m sure you are.”

They sit together for a few minutes, just watching the others as they interact. Magnus and Simon seem to be having a deep discussion in the corner, while Jace is pretending to mess with his hair in front of the mirror when he’s actually looking at the pictures of Magnus and Alec stuck in the corner of it. 

“My brother,” she begins, staring straight ahead, “your dad. He’s happy, right?”

Max nods, watching Jace’s eyes as they move between staring at himself and the picture. “Very happy,” he confirms. “He’s the best person that I know, Aunt Izzy. I don’t think I could live without him. I know that Papa can’t.”

Isabelle nods slowly and takes a deep breath. Max thinks there might be tears in her eyes, but when she turns to him with a smile her eyes are clear. “Then it’s a good thing you won’t have to, right?”

“A very good thing,” Max agrees, and he can’t help but think that his Aunt Izzy might’ve just come to terms with the fact that her brother would outlive her. 

He wonders briefly if Rafael ever worries about the fact that his entire family will outlive him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

Magnus drops down beside of Max, having left his conversation with Simon when Alec and Clary walked through the door just moments before. Isabelle rose from her position and flashed Max a quick smile before heading towards her brother. 

“Is it easier to be the one who outlives them or to be the one that knows they will?” Max questions before he can stop himself. Magnus inhales sharply.

“I don’t know, Blueberry,” he says after a moment. Max can’t help the way his heart clenches at the nickname. “I think maybe that it isn’t easier for either side. It’s just harder in different ways.”

“Does it ever stop hurting? When you lose them?” 

Magnus shakes his head, placing his hand on Max’s knee and squeezing. “No, little one. It doesn’t. That’s the price we pay for love, no matter what kind.” 

“And if I don’t want to pay it?” Max asks, almost desperately. 

“That isn’t up to you, my dear. To live is to love, and to love is to lose. There is no choice. I wish there was another way, but there just isn’t.” Magnus looks hesitant for a moment, and then, “Is it - is it your brother?”

Max looks down and bites his lip. “It is. He’s _Nephilim._ ”

Magnus seems to nod to himself, squeezing Max’s knee again. He looks up and locks eyes with him before he pulls him into a hug. 

“Can I get in on this?” a voice chimes, a new body settling on Max’s other side. It’s Alec, and Max almost cries.

“Of course you can, darling. We’re a family.” Max does start crying at that, and cries even harder when he feels Alec’s arms wrap around him.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I promise it’s going to be okay,” Alec whispers, just low enough that Max is certain no one but he and Magnus can hear him.

Max manages to pull himself away from them after a minute and wipes his eyes with the sleeves of his dark grey sweater. He gives Alec a shaky smile when he glances over at him.

“I needed that,” he admits. Alec laughs quietly. 

“I could tell,” he says simply. He gestures at him and Magnus with a smile. “Good talk?”

“Good talk,” Max affirms. “One I don’t think I would’ve had the heart to have with Papa.”

“Good,” Alec says, sounding pleased. “I’m glad something good came from this for you.”

“Me too,” Max replies. “I’m ready to go home, but I might just miss this time.”

“We’ll miss you, too,” Alec promises. “I’ll miss you. That is, until you're mine.”

Max looks down at his lap and clears his throat, a small smile growing on his face. “I love you, dad,” he admits. “Don’t forget that?” 

He doesn’t see Magnus grinning, eyes shining brilliantly as he witnesses the scene in front of him. He doesn’t see Alec blink back tears. He doesn’t see the way everyone kind of stops around them, smiling at the display. He doesn’t see any of it, but he hears Alec’s response.

“I love you, too. Don’t forget that.”

 

-

 

“Blueberry, you’re home!” Magnus shouts excitedly, appearing in front of Max within seconds of his arrival. Alec stands behind him, hands folded behind his back and a grin on his face. 

“I love you both so much,” Max says in a rush, hugging Magnus as tightly as he possibly can. 

“Oh, so you don’t love me?” Rafael steps out from behind Alec, scowling playfully. Max almost trips as he rips himself from Magnus’ arms and throws himself at his brother.

“Rafe!” he screams. “I missed you. Never let me do anything stupid without you ever again.”

Rafael laughs and pulls back from Max, smiling widely. “Nothing I do is ever stupid,” he informs him. “I missed you, too.”

Alec steps towards them and grins. “Hey, Max?”

“Yeah, dad?” 

“Did you forget?” he asks. It takes just a second, but Max’s eyes widen.

“No. No, I didn’t. Did you?”

“I could never,” Alec replies. “You’re mine now.”

Max kind of wants to tell him that he’s always been his, but he’s too delighted by the fact that for the first time in nearly twenty-four hours, he belongs.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it :)


End file.
